Today, crack Center for Educational Freedom research assistant Ian Hinsdale alerted me to an Onion News Network program on which panelists decried Americans’ shocking ignorance about whales, a problem the experts agreed, for the most part, started in the schools. Toward the end of the segment one of the panelists spoke a little whale, but she hadn’t learned it in her whale-studies deficient, inner-city K‑12 schools. No, she had to learn it in adult school, illustrating how severely we’ve shortchanged so many of our students. And don’t think for a minute that whale ignorance is confined to low-income schools…

Now, you might think this was a joke — ONN does sometimes do a parody or two. But this segment could not have been more serious. How do I know? Because the federal government really does have a multi-million dollar, whale-based education initiative: The Historic Whaling and Trading Partners Exchange Program. And if the feds have a program for something the problem must be real, and it must be serious!

Ilwhaleracy, quite simply, threatens the future of our nation — consider just the potential devastation on our economic competitiveness with Atlantis! — and I for one am glad to see Washington tackling the threat head on!