According to traditional theories of regulation, government should protect the public from utility monopoly power and enforce no restrictions on the content of public discourse. But instead, we see authorities doing the opposite to pursue their own objectives. This practice goes beyond prior theories of regulation into something new: the commandeering of private entities’ market power by government for its own ends, ironically by causing the same types of consumer harm—higher prices, service losses, and censorship—that government is supposed to guard against.